I have been told NOT to call this blog "don't adopt"  but went with it anyway.  I need a forum to do two things (and I need it anonymously)  1) to vent about my children and 2) to be a warning to parents who are looking to adopt thru the foster care system.  

We have 4 adopted kids, please no "oh how luck for them" "what an amazing people you are" ... blah blah, I don't want to hear it.  I'm NOT and if you end up following me you will agree.

Our first adoption was a sibling group of 3.  For the privacy of my children I am not giving gender or names.  They will just be label as 1, 2, 3, and 4.  Our second adoption was a single and not biologically connected to the first 3.

1 was 8 years old when they first arrived, 2 was 6 and 3 was 4. Yes it was a lot to take on for two people who had never been parents but we were ready, or at least we thought we were.  There was two things that made us decided to take on "multiples"  one we didn't want a baby.  We were older going into this process and very active, we wanted to be able to throw kids, dog and stuff in the car and go.  We didn't want the extra (stroller, diper bag, etc) and two we knew that if we took on a sibling group we would get kids "faster".

We took all the classes, learned all that could happen, listened to the negative we knew we were ready.  We were also very naive.  We had both been in therapy for one reason or the other for years.  The beginning of our marriage brought up several challenges (loss of jobs, cancer) so we did a lot of work on us and us together.  Most couples didn't have this advantage it would be safe to say we felt a bit smug maybe to confident.  Because once the kids are yours fully adopted you are on your own and at the mercy of the system.

Our adoptions have been final for several years.  All together we had our children for close to 10 years.  And as I fill in some of the blanks you will learn that it is and it will not be a happy ending.